Elon Musk might flip Twitter into the worst pay-to-win sport ever

Elon Musk poses in costume at Heidi Klum's Halloween party.

Photograph: Taylor Hill (Getty Photos)

A social networking website is Twitter An A24 film was made and An excessive amount of melting To quantify, is tumbling into the subsequent circle of hell as quickly as relevant Intensive monetization.

With Twitter Blue’s new $8 monthly subscription, which can roll out After the midterm electionsYou will get a blue verification badge (and other features) with out really verifying your id and instantly banned To pretend to be someone else. New proprietor and CEO Elon Musk, the world’s richest man, has a poor sense of comedy. Walking into Twitter HQ Carrying a sink and humbly going, “Hehe! Let it sink in! ” He mentioned that he bid for his reign and income Not just legitimizing comedyHowever it should additionally occur “Democratizing Journalism” by some means. In truth, he’s getting loads out of it A Monty Python Sketch.

However musk can rapidly encourage From pay-to-win video video games, too. November 2nd, Kasturi replied Sport designer and gamification knowledgeable Adrian Hone’s (sarcastic) Twitter thread describing Twitter as “actual gamification”, jokingly calling Twitter “Twitter Battle Cross, Achievements, Completely happy Hour, Streaks, and extra!” Providing online game options similar to

Not everybody understood that Hohn was joking, not even comedy knowledgeable Musk, who mentioned Hohn’s thread had “some good concepts.”

Effectively, if Musk is taking strategies from avid gamers, I suppose I ought to supply a few of my very own.

Twitter coin

I am assuming Twitter will finally add a heads-up show to its homepage, displaying not solely what number of followers you will have, but additionally vital stats like whole time on Twitter or XP, kill depend (what number of instances a man named Bobby replies to the command to drink bleach in one in every of your benign tweets with ), and your present Twitter Cash.

I like to recommend Twitter Cash as an in-app forex that you may buy at a beneficiant 3-to-1 ratio — $300 for 100 Twitter Cash — that can empower you to unlock the extra vital Twitter Blue options I like to recommend beneath.

And I do know $3 for one Twitter coin appears a bit unfair, however how do you count on Musk to repay $13 billion in debt (not together with $1.2 billion in curiosity funds Twitter is anticipated to make this yr) he owes after his $44 billion acquisition? By liquidating a few of his $208 billion internet price? No, it makes a variety of sense.

class system

With Twitter Cash, it is possible for you to to buy unique starter lessons, together with however not restricted to:

  • Attractive with sun shades
  • A person with zero followers believed to have tapped Marshall’s wire
  • The Journalist Who Received Duxed (and Fired)
  • A lady with zero followers who began a petition to delay BTS’s army service
  • A lady with 15 followers who began a petition to cease BTS from tapping her Samsung TV

Every class comes with its personal themed starter package—Harney with Sun shades, for instance, routinely assigns 35 followers carrying sun shades of their profile image and a month’s subscription to the language studying website of your selection so you possibly can study “how.” soiled lady” just a few alternative ways.

These lessons will probably be out there for a low base worth of 5,000 Twitter Cash, however you possibly can add helpful add-ons like Reply Man (who has a negligible 30-minute cooldown time when he pokes round in your Instagram pictures for a thumbs-up). 500 cash, or a viral tweet (relevant to any tweet a few yacht-centric actuality TV present. beneath deck on Bravo) for 650 cash.

Avatars by no means seen earlier than

As soon as you’ve got chosen your starter class, it is time to begin customizing. Musk Already considering Like including “cool stuff” to a Twitter Blue subscription Animated bannersHowever I would say he takes that concept a step additional with high-tech 3D avatars to make use of as your profile image.

have you ever ever been A jungle-themed restaurant chain Rainforest Cafe location? There’s something fantastically haunting about them Tree frog sculpture. 3D Twitter avatars will probably be nearly the identical.

Once you purchase a Twitter avatar for a modest $50,000 price of Twitter cash, you will be answerable for every thing. This contains facial options, physique sort, and whether or not or not your avatar is carrying a t-shirt that claims “I like the music ‘Drive’ Incubus” (I am nonetheless engaged on clothes choices). Place your order and wait 45 enterprise days for transport. That is proper, transport.

There are Twitter avatars actually 3D, molded and solid from the identical iconic metal and aluminum combination that destroys Tesla immediately upon contact. with a pink gentle. To hell with downloadable content material, we’re sooner or later! We have now to crash our automobiles too More often than not.

To make use of Twitter avatars as your profile image, merely take a photograph and add it. Sure, of us, it is that simple. If you need, you possibly can complement your photograph with legendary profile image package deal for 10 cash per week. It provides a 40-second lengthy firework gif that pops up each time Musk’s content material moderation plan Results in somebody being swatted.

Importing a photograph prices 50 cash. You additionally have to DM this phrase to Musk “You might be so gifted and wealthy, papa“Each fortnight or so to show that you just imagine in freedom of speech.

Do not forget to DM. Your Twitter Blue membership will expire instantly and the financial institution will take your pet or your Funko Pop! Assortment, which is extra helpful.

Secret ending

After spending no less than $250,000 in Twitter Cash, you’ll be fortunate sufficient to unlock the key ending of Twitter. I am unable to offer you too many particulars, as a result of it is confidential, however I can say that it entails chapter.

Now to get severe: it is clear that Twitter’s future for paying is looming. Are you prepared for it?

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